Why do I feel like this?

Why do i have to feel this way? Why so empty and unloved?
I dont think i've ever felt loved... only tolerated..
as a baby i was unwanted, as a child i was locked away in my room for at least 1/3 of childhood
I was forced to grow up at a young age and i resent everyone for it. I grew up without friends, minimal family and nothing else to love or love me.
Why cant i find someone, something to love me? I just want to feel warm inside.
I'm not a bad person, why can't I find this?
Even now, its the beginning of 2012 and I feel the same
I have nothing in common with my supposed friends and I see them pitying me and joining me when I leave the group even when it slows their fun.

formspring.me

Ask me questions about Life http://www.formspring.me/Vanagandur

I'm getting sentimental over you - the ink spots is good music

Never thought I'd fall
But now I hear love call
I'm getting sentimental over you

Things you say and do
Just thrill me through and through
I'm getting sentimental over you

I thought I was happy
I could live without love
Now I must admit, love is all I'm thinking of

Won't you please be kind
And just make up your mind
That you'll be sweet and gentle
Be gentle with me
Because I'm sentimental over you

Honeychild, I thought I was happy
but darling, now I got to admit to you
Love is all I'm thinking of
Come on, baby
Won't you please be kind?
It ain't hard for you to make up your mind
That you'll be sweet and gentle
Honey, I mean, just gentle to me

Because I'm sentimental over you...

Still can't sleep.
Been what, 9 days with one 2-3 hours each night?
Don't know how much longer I can last.
I'm so tired and worn out that it hurts to talk and put on this fake smile
Know how to tell a fake smile from a real one? The eyes are the key.
Say you're talking to a girl and she's interested, her pupils will dilate(showing arousal) Also when she's smiling if the skin on the sides of her eye wrinkles then the smile is qenunine, if only her mouth moves and no eye creasing then she's just trying to hurry though the conversation
sorry fellas. So pay attention to her eyes, they tell everything

Odd little tangent there but atleast I taught well nobody how to tell if someones just humoring you

Greetings blog

Seems you're the only one that cares to listen... Well read I guess
Still no followers other then emy, but she doesnt pay much attention
Guess I'll just talk to her when I meet her in Italy.
Still wish someone would go with me
I like to be alone but sometimes even I need a shoulder to cry on or some company other then the characters in my books
Their conversations are so one sided. Ha fatty made a funny.
Trying to stay positive but seeing everyone have everything I want everyday isn't helping.
Know I have gotten a real hug or kiss since I was 18? I turn 21 in 2 months.
Long dry spell don't you think? I never even spooned or cuddled or anything. Really could use a nice cuddle right about now
Maybe if I had, had sex with that girl before before I went to Hawaii and not still had my v-card then I wouldn't be in this rut.

Her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining

Spark of hope had a small bucket of dirt dropped on it today.
Loneliness only strengthens by such acts.
Wish they could understand.
But I can't tell them.
You know I'm not that straight forward.
But I'm not strong.
Took all my courage just to talk to anyone last night
They know I'm not good with people.
Hopefully...

What has been getting me though these long, lonely years

I'm not surprised
Not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times
I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in
I talk myself out
I get all worked up
Then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait
I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing
And the other half's luck
Wherever you are
Whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere
And into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair in love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get right
And we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you kid I'll give more than I get
Than I get
Than I get
Than I get

Oh you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh promise you kid to give so much more than I get

(I said love love love love love love love love)
I just haven't met you yet
(Love love love love love love)
Such a good day yeah
I just haven't met you yet